Clear Vision
by Lady Angel
Summary: Leia comes to grips with what she saw at the Ewok party. There is slash implied, but only what is already in the movies.


Title: Clear Vision  
  
Author: Angel  
  
email: valarltd@hotmail.com  
  
Archive: Sure, let me know where  
  
Disclaimer: Almost all canon stuff, and that  
belongs to the Great God Lucas, at whose feet  
we grovel for scraps of myth.  
  
Type: PoV  
  
Rating: G. You can use 1 damn in a G (2 actually)  
  
Warning: slash implications, but nothing that wasn't  
in the actual films.  
  
Pairing: Han/Luke  
  
Summary: Leia comes to grips with what she saw  
at the Ewok celebration.  
  
  
***  
Clear Vision  
2000 Angelia Sparrow  
***  
  
  
  
My father used to tell me I could  
be as blind as a dzuba when I had my mind   
set on something. But I can see now. My   
vision is as clear as my mind is confused.  
  
I saw tonight what I should have seen four   
years ago.  
  
That's why I'm not asleep, why I'm sitting   
out here, staring up at the collapsing   
rubble of the second Death Star. The debris   
will consume itself in a few weeks.  
  
Blessings, curses and shocks all come in threes.  
And in the last twenty-four hours, I've had   
my three shocks.  
  
Shocks. Yesterday morning, I was Princess   
Leia Organa, only daughter of Bail Organa,   
one of the last Alderaani in the galaxy.   
I was a leader of the Rebel Alliance. I was   
shockingly, disgracefully, totally in love with a   
common smuggler.  
  
Tonight, tonight everything is different.   
Tonight, I'm still Leia, but my last name   
should be Skywalker. I have a brother.   
That's all right. I've liked Luke since he   
burst into my cell in armor a size too large  
and announced he was there to rescue me. It   
was just a surprise.  
  
But, the problem is his father. Our father.   
The biological contributor of half my genetic   
make-up was Vader. My father was Bail Organa,   
who loved me.  
  
The Rebellion is over, and the New Republic is   
rising, and I remain one of the leaders.  
  
But my lover. Ah!  
  
Tonight, my eyes were opened. It isn't me he   
loves at all. And I think I've always known. I never   
pieced the hundred little things together, because   
I wanted him to love me.  
  
Our whole time together has been replaying itself  
all evening. Small things stand out.  
  
Han's panic in the garbage compactor, which made me   
think they'd been friends for years, instead of   
having met less than two days before.  
  
The way he watched out for Luke throughout the whole   
escape. Even while fending off TIE fighters, he   
took a second to encourage. And a second is a very   
long time in space combat.  
  
They always touched so easily. More like brothers  
or lovers than just friends. Even then.  
  
The long periods on shipboard or at various makeshift  
bases. In the off-shift, where one was, the other could  
usually be found. Whether working, drinking or just   
talking, whether there were others around or not,   
they were together.  
  
Han charging out into the Hoth night, on a Tauntaun, almost  
certain to die, but not willing to let Luke freeze if there  
was any chance. I spent that night praying to gods I hoped   
weren't as dead as the world on which they had been   
worshipped. And once again, legendary Solo luck came   
through, beating almost insurmountable odds to bring them   
both in safe.  
  
Han not leaving the medcenter while Luke was in bacta.  
  
The way he couldn't tell me he loved me. The kiss stolen   
in Cloud City was the last pleasure of a condemned man.   
The statement at the bunker was not a lover's confession,   
but admiration. Even that last, almost brusque kiss,   
closed lipped and with that damnably adorable smirk at   
the end of it. I've been kissed romantically, and that   
wasn't even close.  
  
Luke appearing moments after the freezing  
to rescue us.  
  
The way Luke always seems to light up when Han enters  
a room, and vice versa. Luke just shows it more.  
  
Even Han being willing to step aside for Luke and  
me to be together. Valuing Luke's happiness over   
his own.  
  
Tonight, tonight, I saw clearly the one thing that   
pulled it all together. The look. Luke sped his   
walk as he saw me, and hugged me hard. He looked   
pleased to see me. But the look on his face when   
he went to Han... It was relief, love, desire,   
security and desperation rolled into one. He   
looked as if he would stay there forever.  
  
That is what I see when I turn my eyes to the   
spectacular tombstone that marks the end of the   
Emperor. That is what I see when I shut my   
eyes. In my mind's eye, Luke will always be in   
his arms.  
  
That turned all the colored dots into a clear   
picture. And I knew what I, a trained diplomat,   
should have seen a long time ago.  
  
I understand now. I won't get in the way.  
  



End file.
